Green Snake

I had a dream about a massive green snake that was in a tree outside of someone’s home in my neighbourhood. I observed as a woman was bitten by the snake’s second head which was located where it’s tail should have been. Then young girls started walking towards it and allowing themselves to be bitten by the snake in the same way sleeping beauty walks towards the spinning wheel, almost like they were on a conveyor belt, but willingly, as if their curiosity for the pain others were experiencing were enough to send them into the face of death. 

Then I was on a bus. Sitting at the back. The teacher came on, announced everyone could dismount except I. He lectured me on my promiscuous ways and forbade me from engaging romantically with anyone. I just don’t remember if this was before or after I’d invited a boy over to meet my family for dinner, he attended but left half-way through, unimpressed with what we were having for dinner.

On the road again… Headed to Vernon. Again, the view was out of this world. One moment we’d be looking at clear blue skies, the next we’re under a bridge meant to prevent traffic from being affected by potential avalanches. Apparently the highway we were on is casually referred to as the highway to hell. Without proper snow tires, you wouldn’t be covered by insurance had you gotten in an accident on this road. The speed limit is also 120km/hr, so there’s that.

We weren’t long at the hotel before Joy’s sister, Valerie, arrived and we got into exchanging stories about love, life and family. We all went out for dinner and the conversation continued. I took a risk and asked if this group of avid skiers had ever been known to smoke and ski. I mean, they grew up in the 60’s & 70’s in British Colombia.. a part of me just assumed. But no, not their jam - though we did have a great chat about weed culture and the future of it’s use medicinally and recreationally.

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We grabbed some beers, headed back to the hotel, I went for a swim, and here I am - typing away in the lobby with a mask on my face while Steve and Joy snooze away in the hotel room. Speaking of which, I’m going to do the same.

Slopes

6am - Raining, hard. Keegan - disappointed. 

9am - Rain stopped. Keegan - rips off her pyjamas to reveal that she’s been wearing her snowboarding gear underneath this whole time.*

We met up with Jackie, who’d graciously let me borrow a proper jacket and goggles, grabbed a coffee and hit the lifts! It was an interesting flow of internal dialog thought the day.

Holy fuck, skiing is not like riding a bike, I have no idea what I’m doing, what have I gotten myself into?!

Okay.. these green circle hills aren’t so bad.. the kids are doing it no problem… alright I remember what to do…

Shit fuck balls I’m going to way too fast! OMG is that a mogul?! Yep, just lost a ski. Thank God Alex wasn’t far, I probably couldn’t have put that back on by myself. 

Ok just take it easy, you don’t have to prove anything. Wow that view though! FUCK! Lost my ski again. Where’s Alex? FML. Ok I got this. *trying to get my boot back in the ski* GET THE FUCK IN THERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!

Alright, if I can get my ski back in by myself, I can handle anything! Just be confident. Yea, being afraid is only going to foster more fear and more tumbles. And fuck it, if you fall you’ll just get back up again, or if you don’t at least maybe you’ll have a cool snap chat about being air lifted off the mountain, either way, you’re winning. 

“Hey Alex, I can probably handle some blue square hills!”

Yeaaaaaah I got this! Man, I could be pro in no time. I feel like I’m in a music video.

Oh fuck my legs hurt. Also I can’t breathe. I’m so thirsty. I can’t feel my teeth. It’s like I just had sex for hours with multiple orgasms: dehydrated, breathing heavily, high on good vibes. No really, my knees are burning, my calves are spasming, and my thighs are on fire. 

“Can we go back to the green hills?”

End of day returning my gear.. some kid, no more than 7 or 8 years old says enthusiastically, “I spent all day on the blue hills!”

You limber little bastard.

I need to mention here how insanely patient and understanding Alex and Jackie were with me. They never made me feel rushed or that I was holding them back and they looked out for me. Jackie is also one of the most kindhearted, and generous people I’ve ever met. She treated me like I was an old friend, which I appreciate more than I can articulate. I genuinely hope that’s not the last time I have the pleasure of spending time in the presence of her genuinely calming spirit. 

Next stop - a seedy part of town in the heart of Vancouver where I audited an acting class and made a new friend while standing outside in the rain repeatedly pressing the buzzer in hopes that perhaps they just didn’t hear it the first 6 times. 

I think my biggest take aways from the class are:

1) no pointing, sighing, eye rolling.

2) if the script says yes, don’t say yea. 

3) concentration is about being present in the moment and being able to come back to the task at hand while also being aware of what’s going on around you. 

My relative, Steve Fera (who just so happened to teach Alex in high school), picked me up after class and we drove down to Tsawassen. I was greeted by an enthusiastic Joy who fed me fresh salmon caught by none other than her lovely husband, Steve. We exchanged a few stories and it was off to bed.

*Lies.

Rain Day = Spa Day

Rain day. Breakfast. Casual read of the newspaper.. an article on a recent international women’s day panel that’d been hosted in Pemberton and a list of avalanche vocabulary that one might find useful.

Alex, his dog Raina and I walked along the train tracks and scoped out the abandoned train wreck which I snap chatted… snap chat wasn’t having any of it, and I didn’t take any real pictures so we’re both at a loss here.

After a few beers with o̶u̶r̶ my new friends Jackie & Cali - they were already Alex’s friends - we decided to hit up the Scandinav Spa.

It was unreal. Essentially you’re meant to spend 15 minutes in a dry sauna or steam room, hop into a freezing cold outdoor bath for 10 seconds, and then rest at room temperature or in a heated bath for 15 minutes before starting the cycle all over again. We were there for a few hours.. I gave up on the cold water part pretty quick…

Then, I cooked us some healthy post-spa dinner and we planned to hit the slopes in the A.M.