The Eleventh Hour

To me, Remembrance Day is about more than commemorating those who fought for our freedom during the world wars. It's about celebrating those who continue to do so today.

There is an army of heroes who dedicate their lives to ensuring our safety on a daily basis.

Police officers may have a bad rep, and I'm not saying that there aren't some individuals who don't belong in our police force. I'm not trying to take away from those who have been unfairly treated - and in many cases killed - because an officer made an error in judgement. I'm not saying that arrogance doesn't stem from newfound power. I'm not saying that peaceful protests haven't been abruptly and violently shut down unnecessarily.

I'm saying that the world would be chaos without order.

We find comfort in knowing that the bad guys will get caught.
That somebody is working on keeping our streets safe.
And that somebody will come to our rescue in a moment of need.

Firefighters are especially my heroes.
The dedication, determination, and fearlessness that these individuals possess

is baffling.

I have a special relationship with firefighters.
15 years ago, my family home caught on fire. This was the home in which I baked cookies with my Easy-Bake-Oven for my dad, my uncle, and their friends as they built the addition one two-by-four at a time. At the time of it's destruction, my dad was the only person inside; he was asleep, and we can only assume the fumes took his life before the flames. It happened in the middle of the night - the fire department wasn't called until morning. So, although they weren't afforded the opportunity to save my dad, I find comfort in knowing that they have been fruitful in efforts to save the loved ones of others.
In the past, I made it a tradition to visit the local fire station (of whatever city I called home at the time) on the anniversary of his passing.
I'd bring baked goods and they would graciously take a moment to hear my story. My purpose was to thank them for the daily sacrifices they make in order to make sure that others don't find themselves in my situation.

This year I decided to make a new tradition. Instead of showing gratitude for my heroes, I decided to start being a hero in my own right - I donated blood for the first time. My blood type is O Negative, so I'm a universal blood donor. It feels really good to be making a difference in the lives of others in my own way. No matter what, the days leading up to January 28th are anxiety-ridden and incredibly emotional, but donating blood that day gives me something to look forward to, so admittedly, there is a selfish element to it.

Being a firefighter however, is selfless.
They mindfully put their own lives in danger to save the lives of others.
I can't imagine what it must be like for their families.
Always knowing in the back of their minds that this person that they care for so deeply, that they depend on, might not come home at the end of the day.
These people are so strong, and they need to know how much we appreciate them.

We all second guess ourselves at one time or another - is this job really for me? Is it worth it? Is it meaningful?
I know that the only way I can keep going is to say yes, yes, and yes.
So I hope that by showing my appreciation, it reminds them that it's all worth it.
The friends they have lost in the line of duty, the relationships they've sacrificed, the long gruelling hours of training, waiting, and working; I think I speak for many when I say "Thank you".

I'd like to note that I know little about being a firefighter.
But I know a lot about what it would be like without them.

We take this day to be grateful for the sacrifices made by our ancestors

, but this gratitude should resonate within us every day. We have been afforded an incredible foundation on which to stand - it's up to us to make it worthwhile.

My Interest In Fashion Does Not Minimize My Intellect

I subscribed to the Lenny Letter many moons ago. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a newsletter - that you should sign up for - curated by Lena Dunham & Jenni Konner. It's chalked full of insightful reads. For someone who opts to get her fiction fix from film, it's all the things I crave to read. 

Since taking a women's studies course at Wilfrid Laurier University in 2012, I've devoured a plethora of books written by women I look up to. Some that I feel are worth mentioning for those of you looking for a solid summer reading list...

- "If you have to cry, go outside" by Kelly Cutrone

- "Normal gets you nowhere" by Kelly Cutrone

- "Not that kind of girl" by Lena Dunham

- "Why Not Me?" by Mindy Kaling

- "Is everyone hanging out without me?" by Mindy Kaling

- "Yes Please" by Amy Poehler 

- "How to be a woman" by Caitlin Moran 

- "Leave your mark" by Aliza Licht 

- "Man Repeller" by Leandra Medine 

- "#GIRLBOSS" by Sophie Amoruso

- "Stiletto Network" by Pamela Ryckman

Also, though it's not a book, Amanda de Cadenet's "The Conversation" is an absolute pleasure to watch. She's keen on having open, honest, and raw conversations about issues that women face with women who've overcome them. They discuss the tools used and the lessons learned with the hopes that women in the audience will feel less alone as they move through these struggles themselves. Ultimately, I think story telling is incredibly powerful.

I think when you look at all of the social media platforms we all use to share our stories, it's important to realize not only that people want to be heard and seen, but that there is strength and knowledge to be gained from the hearing and seeing. 

As YouTube tends to do, it recommended this video for me to watch, so I happily obliged. I love Lena, I think she's incredibly well spoken and outspoken in a way that I aspire to be. I've watched many an interview of hers and she never disappoints. My take aways from this particular video are twofold. Please, allow me to expand.

About midway through the interview, Lena talks about the projects she's working on and will be working on post-GIRLS. One of which is a documentary on a tailor who makes suits for transgendered people and people who don't conform to gender norms. RIGHT up my alley so I'm super stoked to watch that. But also because 4 years ago when I left university, I wanted to start a clothing line called Genderless. It would have been mostly unisex clothing but I also wanted to design eveningwear. At first I thought, well ball gowns aren't really unisex, BUT in fact, they are. It just takes a bit of tailoring to adjust for different body types. I think not making the clothing line a priority right off the bat will always be a regret of mine, but I'm still young and there's plenty of time. 

I also recently watched a Ted Talk about creativity and this quote really stuck out for me...

"To be original, you don't have to be first. You just have to be different and better." - Adam Grant

I love that quote. There are also a lot of theories he touches upon in regards to the creative process that I've picked up on from other talks such as the idea that procrastination, though it might be a hindrance to productivity, is actually crucial to better creativity. That's one that John Cleese has been talking about for years. Elizabeth Gilbert's Ted Talk is also referenced as Adam talks about separating ourselves from our creative work. In doing so, we can minimize the amount of self-doubt and self-blame that comes along with the responsibility of having been the creator of a work of which we're not particularly proud. 

But alas, I digress...

My second take-away from the Lena-Jenni-Leandra convo was Leandra's final message: that as women, our interest in fashion, among other topics, does not minimize our intellect. Over the years I've struggled with my interest in the fashion industry because at times it seemed frivolous. I struggled with justifying the importance of fashion as it reflects on current societal norms and the power it can have on an individual's emotional well-being. I struggled with the idea of working in an industry filled with people I'd categorized as being unintelligent. The idea that people can't be conventionally good-looking and intelligent has done me no good. I've struggled with it's effects on me personally, and how I see those around me. But then there are books like the ones I've listed above that tell me that you can be involved in the fashion industry and be intelligent. I feel cheated for having allowed myself to believe in that stereotype, and I can only hope that the existence of these books and shows and letters will help other's see the light. 

I was inspired to write this piece when I read Khloe Kardashian's contribution to the Lenny Letter this morning. You can read it by clicking on the photo below.

She is the epitome of this character that is perceived fashion-obsessed and spiritually empty and I feel like many people have pigeon holed her into being exactly that. But we have to realize that people are enigmatic. They can be anything and everything all at once. Alanis Morissette addresses her struggle with not wanting to conform to one genre of music on the track Influences from the Spotify Landmark Edition and I think it's something that a lot of people struggle with. From the time we're quite young, we're encouraged to pick one thing and go study and be that thing, but humans are complex and our interests are often widespread. I think young people need to be told to be open to exploring more. It would certainly take the pressure off. 

In regards to spirituality, Khloe's piece is beautiful and I relate her struggle with that of Alanis Morissette's. On the track On Forgiven, Alanis talks about questioning her faith, and Khloe discusses a similar struggle. In Adam Grant's talk, he discusses a study that proved that the most creative people used browsers like Firefox & Google Chrome. It wasn't that the browsers themselves made the person more creative, but that the people who used them didn't accept the status quo. They questioned whether or not there was something better out there. I think Alanis and Khloe's questioning of their faith attests to their creativity and intellect. 

I'm especially intrigued by the concepts of faith and spirituality at this point in my life as my Uncle is in the process of recovering from what should have been a deadly stroke. Against all odds he's fighting to regain his strength and physical functions, and his recovery is nothing short of a miracle. I didn't grow up in a religious home, we believed more in The Secret than anything. And yet, I find myself drawn to the 7pm Sunday Service at an Anglican church for two reasons. 1 - because in the same way that we have a space where we work, a space to sleep, a space to be creative, a space to eat, I feel like church is a place where I can be grateful. I know that prayer can happen anywhere, but there's something about being in a space that is architecturally beautiful where the sole purpose of my being there is to give thanks; to send out vibes of gratitude into the universe; for my Uncle's recovery, for the love and support I get from my friends, family and co-workers, for the roof I have over my head, the food that fills my belly, the warm sunshine that brings out the freckles on my face, the opportunities I have to love and laugh freely, and everything else that brings a smile to my face. And 2 - the music. Khloe talks about a time when her family stopped going to church but her father brought religion into their home by playing gospel music. When Alanis talks about struggling to fit into one genre, she names off a few of the artists that she was listening to at the time, but the common thread between them all was they they were soulful. That's what I love about the 7pm service - the music is on point. 

I realize I've been a bit all over the place with this one, but isn't that really what this piece is all about? ;)

1250

After hiking and beaching and picking up hitch hikers with dogs, my car was a disaster. Had I returned it in that condition, I’d have been changed up the wazoo, so I took it to the car wash and by the time they were done with it, it looked brand-spanking-new! I still had some snacks left over, so I grabbed a coffee, cruised down to the beach, and took in one last view of the ocean while cutting up an apple with my swiss army knife and dipping it in peanut butter.

I very much enjoyed the drive back to Sixt, blasting tunes like Did my ring burn your finger, Weed instead of Roses, Desperado, & Childs Play. Returning the car was even easier than picking it up! The staff were efficient and friendly and I found out that I put 1250 miles on that car. Damn. They shuttled me back to the airport where I enjoyed a couple glasses of champagne before boarding.

The plane ride itself was uneventful, I sat next to a pleasant couple, watched Revenant, and suddenly I found myself back in Toronto, boarding the streetcar as a kind woman offered to help me with my suitcase. As I looked around, I saw all kinds of people of all different ethnicities, all chuckling as a passenger struggled with the hiccups, murmuring “sorry”’s and “pardon me”’s as they brushed past each other - boarding and exiting. I held back tears as I took in my surroundings - so happy to be home. 

When I did finally get back to my apartment, I was greeted by a familiar face, James - who’d been house-sitting for me, and who had a bottle of wine, a joint, and flowers waiting for me. I’m a lucky girl :)